Review: Kill the Boy Band by Goldy Moldavsky

“Stalking boy bands was serious business.”

Kill the Boy Band is unlike anything I’ve read this year and the intro to this story is what really gripped me:

“The most important thing that you should know is that this is not fanfiction. It isn’t one of those lonelygirl Tumblr fantasies about meeting your biggest celebrity crush. This is the story of me and my friends and the time we met The Ruperts. You can believe it or not— that’s on you. Just because you heard a different account of the events on the news doesn’t mean that this one isn’t true.
I have to tell it exactly as it happened.
I have to get the truth out.
And I’m truly sorry for what we have done.”

After reading that, how could I possibly not pick it up?

In a way this book reminded me of the film Love Wrecked where the fan meets her favorite world-famous rock star and they get “stranded” on an island.

tumblr_m01exouncy1qb3qhko1_250This review contains *spoilers*.

But this storyline follows 4 fangirls of ‘The Ruperts’ and they will do anything to meet their favorite boy band.
It’s definitely a unique story and it brought back those cringe-worthy memories of my 12 year old self, that I try with all my might to block out.
It was, however, really funny remembering how obsessed you can get over someone you don’t even know in real life, only with what the media presents of them.

I will admit that I was hesitant going into this one because I read multiple reviews where they mentioned how Apple was portrayed that I didn’t like—and after reading the book I still don’t:

“Imagine a big blubbering mess of tear-streaked flesh and dry heaving. Apple did the only thing Apple could think to do. She ran at full fucking speed. Apple did not stop. Apple’s overwhelming desire to hug/touch/hump Rupert P. by any means necessary meant nothing was going to get in the way of her flesh touching his. She did not stop until she football tackled Rupert P. to the ground.
Rupert P. was out cold instantly. This was actually kind of a best-case scenario, under the circumstances, because a tackle from Apple could’ve very well killed him.”

I am upset with how Apple was portrayed, which is why I lowered my rating (this review perfectly explained it).

But for the majority of the story, I enjoyed it and it got me out of my reading slump, which was fantastic because I had been picking up and putting down books for weeks now (nothing has compared to The Raven Cycle).

It was also an interesting read, though hard to explain because the mess these girls got themselves into was creepy and dark, yet somehow entertaining (?)
This book is considered a dark humor book, and it definitely managed to make me laugh, but at the same time feel truly scared.

“The plan was always to blackmail Rupert P. Everything that happened with Apple—Rupert P. ending up in our room—that was all serendipity. It expedited things. I never dreamed the blackmail would go this far. Or that it would work so well.”
“But why would you want to blackmail him?”
“To make a dent in the group. Which would be the start of my plan.”
I was afraid to ask, because I was afraid of what the answer would be. But I needed to. “What is your plan?”
“To kill the boy band.”

The whole situation with Rupert P. actually being dead really shocked me, and I had my guesses for how he ended up that way. (I was right for once!!)
But when the girls walked into their hotel room and found it to be unnervingly quiet, I thought maybe Rupert had managed to escape—not die.
“How did this happen?” Erin said.
“Who was in here last?” Isabel said.
“We’re going to need a polyethylene plastic bin and a few gallons of acid,” Apple said. We stared at her. “I watched Breaking Bad, I know how to get rid of a body!”
(I loved how the pop culture references in this book didn’t feel forced.)

And Goldy Moldavsky put it into perfect words the fangirl experience and nearing the end it:

“And all I saw was hate. Because after a while, obsession without any payoff can breed it—hatred. The boys will inevitably disappoint you somehow. You think a girl that they date isn’t worthy of them. You think their songs could be better, that their relevance is weak. You begin to wonder why you still care so much, why you still fight their battles for them over Twitter while they themselves are sipping piña coladas on some Mexican beach, and you realize that at some point your obsession is mostly perfunctory. You’ve sold your soul to it and now you open up Tumblr and scroll because it’s hardwired in you to do it. If you can just get one more piece of info, one more pic, one more scoop, it’ll fill that empty feeling in you that you dug unbeknownst in the first place.”

All in all, I’m really glad that I picked this book up because it not only helped me got out of a reading slump, but I actually enjoyed the time I spent reading Kill the Boy Band.
It was a quick and thought-provoking read.

4/5 stars

Note: I’m an Amazon Affiliate. If you’re interested in buying Kill the Boy Band, just click on the image below to go through my link. I’ll make a small commission!

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